Where did you get a picture of my penis
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
