I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
