I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
