is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
