i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
