Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
