so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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