wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
bring money and cleavage
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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