my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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