i just google imaged poop.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
