TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
