so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
