Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
