Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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