butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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