So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize