first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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