remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
