thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
