I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Porn is love you can see.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
