I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
