just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
