Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
