You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
porn star boner night. come get it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
