Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
