Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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