real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
