If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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