I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What a dumb baby whore.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
