I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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