Nicole vs. Life
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
