i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
