Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
