thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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