Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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