pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
