spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
