I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
