Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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