butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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