she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
pray to the hookup gods
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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