My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
