Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
