we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
