Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
