You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
