We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
