I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
