Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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