so explain again why im purple
no
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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