you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
